How to Make Phone Sex Seductive

Seductive Phone Sex can be a great way to let your dirty fantasies run wild and turn on your partner. But there are a few things to keep in mind to make it sexy.

For one, don’t forget to dip into your “fantasy bank.” Describe settings that turn you on, like public sex or role play.

1. Be yourself

Phone Sex is a chance to explore your more sensual fantasies, including those that don’t involve your physical body. If you’re into roleplaying, it can be fun to pretend to be a character or give your partner instructions on how to touch themselves — and even how to kiss them.

The tone of your voice is also a huge part of making your Phone Sex experience hot and intimate. It’s important to use a deep, husky whisper and speak slowly. This helps to create a sexy, seductive vibe over the phone that can have a huge impact on your partner’s sexual energy.

While it’s totally okay to be spontaneous and jump right into Phone Sex, some people find that they need a bit of foreplay before the conversation really heats up. This could include things like charging your phone and making sure you’re in a private space before you get started, as well as putting on some sexy music or lighting a candle to set the mood. It’s also a good idea to discuss what kind of sexual experience you want before you start talking about it, so your partner knows what to expect.

2. Talk about your fantasies

If you’re nervous about phone sex, it’s helpful to think about your fantasies and dip into your “fantasy bank.” Just like with physical sex, it turns us on when we share our desires with someone. “Be frank and transparent when broaching the subject,” Lori Michels, an LMFT and AASECT-certified sex therapist, tells SELF. “Make sure you are getting consent.”

This could mean describing what sexual scenarios turn you on, or even role playing them. It can also be a good time to start by sending a naughty picture or nude video.

Then, you can describe how it would feel to have it over the phone, or in a specific setting (like sex at the park, or even in a restaurant bathroom). Finally, don’t forget to check in with your partner during the call and ask if they are enjoying themselves. This can be done verbally or through body language. It’s also a good idea to eliminate any distractions during the conversation, like turning off notifications and putting your phone on Do Not Disturb mode.

3. Involve your privates

If you’re in a long-distance relationship or just want to spice up your flirting, phone foreplay can be extremely seductive. “Simply describing parts of each other’s body can be incredibly arousing,” says certified relationship coach Adina Mahalli. “Just be sure to get their consent first.”

For example, you could start by telling them what turns you on about them. Maybe it’s their voice, the sound of their breathing, or a certain way they call their bits and pieces. Then you can use that language during your sexy phone conversations.

You can also dip into your fantasy bank and talk about stuff that you wouldn’t normally discuss in person, like a library, a Costco, or even Paris. Or you can role play and fantasize about being naked in a bathtub, or getting caught masturbating while out and about. You can even go fetish and delve into things like guided masturbation, shemales, or kinky roleplay. Consent is always important, but it’s especially crucial during Phone Sex. Make sure you both agree on a safe word that they can use when it’s time to stop.

4. Be descriptive

Describe your fantasies to each other—it’s a lot sexier than simply talking about them. Say things like, “You’re gonna love how my lips feel against yours” or, “Your orgasm will be off the charts when we’re having that double penetration.” And don’t be afraid to get a little bit dirty. Saying, “I’d love to fuck you in that lake raft,” for example, will have your partner moaning before they even pick up the phone.

While Phone Sex is often associated with long-distance relationships, it can work for any couple who wants to add a little spice to their relationship. You can give your partner a hint that Phone Sex is on the menu by texting them something naughty—like a hot picture of yourself or an invitation to “come on over.” Once you’re in the mood, just use your imagination. And don’t forget to breath heavily into the phone! Heavy panting can be just as arousing as sexy words. Just make sure you’re using a phone that can handle your deep voice. You don’t want to break the thing, after all.

5. Don’t feel silly

Whether you’re a sexting newbie or an old pro, phone sex can be weird. It’s almost impossible to have two people who are equally horny at the same time, so there will always be some awkward pauses or readjustments that need to happen in order for everyone involved to feel good about the session.

But don’t let that stop you from trying something new. Just be frank and transparent when broaching the topic with your partner, and make sure that you are both giving clear consent. That could mean simply describing what you want to do to them and asking if they’re into it, or it can be more involved, like dropping a hint that you might like to try out a certain kink and then clearly asking them if it sounds appealing.

It’s also a great opportunity to dip into your “fantasy bank,” says deLune. Think about sexual scenarios that turn you on, but that you might not be willing to do in real life, such as sex in public or in an exotic location (like a car or a fancy restaurant bathroom). The more descriptive you can be, the more it will stimulate your partner’s and your own imagination.